Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops