What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What? Why?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why do black people hate whites? their is no light in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops