what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

punchline below punchline above

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

why was the old man on the ground he fell

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...