Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

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why do black people hate whites? their is no light in the ghetto

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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