Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops