I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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