Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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A blind man walked past a fish store. For a second he thought it might be a womens vaginal odor, but then concluded it was most likely a fish store, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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