Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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