A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops