There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

you...

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

Christ is a conspiracy

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

#Hanging Degus

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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