Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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#Hanging Degus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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