Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops