Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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