Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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you...

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops