Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops