What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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Atheism

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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