How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops