a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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honest politician

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Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

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Terraria

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Women's rights.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Knock Know! Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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