A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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hi

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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