9/11

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumbs up!

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

Sarah Palin

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

I'm funny.

A BABY seal walks into a club

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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