what is darker than black?... YOU

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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