what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Miami Heat.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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