Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -115

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -129

How Long is a Chinese name.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +54

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +32

you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops