Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Hi my name is Bob

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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equality for women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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