Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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