Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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