Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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your mom

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equality for women

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lebron

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops