Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Asian NASCAR.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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i have cancer

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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