A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Runescape.

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your mom

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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I like turtoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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