What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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