Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

thumb_up thumb_down -43

One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Who's on first? Garvey.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

thumb_up thumb_down +46

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops