I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

im not food

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why am I writing this...im bored

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock *open*

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops