Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops