why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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