How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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What do you call a black man? A person

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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