What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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why cant fat people walk because they are fat

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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justin littleton being sucessful

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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