Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

my wife came out of the kitchen....

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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