Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

Ben Corbishley

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

You know whats funny Aids

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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