Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Barack Obama

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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69

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops