Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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G

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops