What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WOMENS RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is not fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

thumb_up thumb_down +4

glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops