Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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just in time?

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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