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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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black people

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops