I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Knock, Knock Come in

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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John Cena for president

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops