Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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