Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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A bar walks into a man

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Penis

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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non poop

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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