What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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4-4-2

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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96

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops