A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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watch a i d s left

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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