*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops