If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red and violets are in fact violet

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops