Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops