I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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