Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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