How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so the weather's nice...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................00............................................................................................................................................I..........................................................................................................................................._____....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops