How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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How you know when dislextic

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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