What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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why do you always see black people smoking? because your neighbors are black and they smoke on their porch,a place you can probably see from your house.

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops